TT - Troubled Hearts FOUR

Troubled Hearts
—The Confusion—

Vic walked slowly up the stairs and down the hallway.  He stopped in front of the bedroom door on the end of the hall.  He heard Rachel crying on the other side of her door.  Even so, he knocked on it.  It hurt him to see her so upset.  He couldn't stand it.

"Y-yes?"  She asked and gave a long sniffle.

"It's me, Rachel." Vic told her through the closed door and she gave him her consent to come in.

As soon as the door between them was open, Vic went over to her bed and sat down next to her.  She swallowed away her other tears and rubbed her wet cheeks, trying to wipe away her sadness and anguish.  "You believe me, right?"  She asked after several moments.

"Yes, of course I believe you."  He said and stroked her hair to console her.  

She breathed in deeply and let it out as two teardrops slipped from her closed eyes.  "What happened? Really.  I want to know.  I'm not crazy!"  She said as she vented her anger and frustration.  "This is just like a bad dream."  She looked away and seemed to shrink as she held her arms.  "A nightmare," she finished.

When Vic did not answer, or perhaps he could not, she looked over to him.  "How long have I been 'gone'?"

"A couple of weeks."  Vic paused before continuing.  "Listen, if you came back to us, perhaps the rest will follow.  This may only be temporary.  For now we just have to learn to live with it and get along with the others.  I know it is hard.  They aren't the people we remember and love, but they are still people."  He sighed and touched her cheek so she would look at him.  He looked away and his eyes hardened as he confessed to her what he had such a hard time telling anyone else.  "Sometimes it feels like I'm the only sane one here and other times I wonder if I'm the next to go."  He looked at her and his eyes softened.  "I'm just glad I got you back.  You're like a little sister to me."

She wiped her cold, wet cheeks with her fingers and smiled the little she could.  "Thanks, Vic."

—

Tara shifted in her sleep.  She felt sadness unlike ever before.  It was almost despair.  She was lying on the cold, hard ground.  She could not see much, but she could feel herself crying.  "I've failed him. . ." she told someone, but could not tell who.

Finally, her vision cleared up a bit.  A person with a long cloak stood up by her.  The person walked closer.  Tara's vision was so blurred and dark, she could barely distinguish color or any physical features of the person before her.  The person took a few steps closer to Tara.  She saw the person's shoulder length hair and slightly curvy figure and assumed it was a woman.  The woman stumbled a bit as if she was weak.  

Tara could not see any features of the woman standing above her.  However, she heard the woman say something.  She spoke, but Tara could not understand right away.  ". . . come with me?"  She caught the latter half of the sentence after a moment of straining to hear and comprehend.  What was she asking her?

She felt, if not heard, herself speak.  "Why would. . . help me?"  She couldn't hear the whole question she asked or even feel the words she spoke.  Tara was merely watching the dream.  She could somewhat feel what was happening, but not much.  She felt as if she wasn't really a participant of this dream.  Something was so different about herself.  Or was that even herself?

The woman spoke once more with her almost familiar voice.  "Because you need. . . help me. . ." What is it I need?  Do I need to help someone?  Who is that speaking to me?  Who? Who? Who?

She could see her vision shift slightly as she nodded.  The hauntingly familiar woman spoke again, but Tara could not make out any words as if she was speaking in a different language.  Tara's vision turned completely to black and she felt disoriented for a moment; almost like being seasick.  And then. . .

She woke up.

—

Tara sat next to her roommate the next morning with a bowl of cereal in one hand and a carton of milk in the other.  After setting down and mixing the two, Tara picked up her spoon but put it down the next moment.  For some reason, she could not get the images of the previous night out of her head.  So, after a moment of gathering her strength and taking a silent deep breath, she turned to the girl next to her and spoke.   "I had this really disturbing dream last night, Star."

"What?  You had a dream, Terra?"  Kori looked confused.  "How did you have a dream?  I have not had a dream while I have been here."  She shook her head slightly as if she found Tara's statement to be physically impossible, but tried to understand it anyway.  "I thought we were in a dream already."  Kori was genuinely confused.  How was this possible?  "May I ask if you have had dreams before?"

"Only occasionally."  Tara admitted.  "They usually are very vague and dimly lit.  I can't see much, but they seem like they are real.  Sometimes I'm at school just doing ordinary things.  I guess it means I want to be normal again."

"But I do not understand," Kori objected.  "How are you able to have dreams while I nor anyone else cannot?"

Tara shrugged.  "I don't know," she said honestly.  "Maybe it's because I've been here longer than you guys."

Kori pondered over that thought for a few moments until Rachel walked in.  She looked more sober than she had the previous night.  Perhaps all she needed was a good cry.  However, both Kori and Tara knew it would take a while before she could accept them as real.  Especially when Dick, her supposed husband, had told her she was the fake.  

"Good morning, Rachel," Kori said with a bright smile.  Rachel, in turn, looked uncomfortable as she remembered what Vic had told her the previous night. They aren't the people we remember and love, but they are still people.  Rachel sighed and decided she would be as civil as she could.  After all, weren't they trying by calling her 'Rachel'?

"Good morning," she replied with a small, mostly-forced smile.  Tara and Kori looked at each other and saw the glee mirrored on the other's face.  It was small, but it was a start.  

"What would you like for breakfast?"  Forgetting about her dream within a dream dilemma, Tara asked Rachel as she gestured for her to sit in the end chair.

"Um," Rachel thought about the question for a moment and the fact that someone she did not know who claimed that she was a fictional character, would ask her such a question in the first place. Why does she care?  She shook all other doubts out of her head a smiled faintly instead.  "Do we have any oranges?  I feel like eating something citrus-y."

—

Dick had been awake since the dawn, merely sitting on the couch he had slept on in thought.  The previous night he had seen Rachel react in a way Raven never would.  She was so emotional.  But, then again, she was just a dream and dreams can be anything, he reminded himself.  However, he just couldn't get over this nagging feeling he had in his gut.  Sure, she was different from the person he knew, but something about her seemed so real.  Was that part of Slade's plan?  To put them in a joint dream that seemed so much like real life, that they would begin to settle in and discard the life they once had?

He decided then and there that he would not give in.

However, he thought again of the tears Rachel had shed.  He realized it tore him up inside just to think of it.  Raven never would have cried like that.  He had never seen her show that much emotion before.  But this counterpart, Rachel, was open and. . . honest.  Had he ever been that honest to himself?  He found he didn't know and didn't want to know.

What ever was he going to do in this situation?

He found out he was married to his second-in-command.  It was to a version of the girl he had a deep bond with but was very different from the person he knew.  A bond he hoped would never be severed.  He trusted her with his life.  She had seen him through so many ugly moments, but she never had judged him.  She had only stayed as a silent support without asking anything in return.

It was an awkward situation, but he decided he would make the most of it.  Hopefully he wouldn't be here for very long.  But, if he was, he wanted things to be as pleasant as they could be.  There was no point upsetting everyone and turning this dream into a nightmare.  After all, it wasn't just him that was involved.  The other members of his team were here too.  However, he didn't know just what had happened between them while they had been "gone".  Had they become content with the way things were?  Didn't they want to get back and help the people they knew and cared about?  They were important to Jump City and they were important to each other.

Why couldn't they see that?

—

Sometime after eating breakfast, Rachel decided to remember the good times before she had woken up to this mess.  She had pulled out her wedding and reception albums and was paging through them on the kitchen table.  There was the picture of her walking down the aisle with a gorgeous white dress designed just for her complete with train.  There were beautiful exotic flowers woven into her updo.  She closed her eyes and thought of the look in Dick's eyes when he saw her walking towards him.  His eyes had widened at the beauty in front of him, although she would never admit to being more than pretty.

She turned the page and saw them at the alter reciting their vows to support and love each other until death do they part.  Now she wasn't sure if she was living up to those vows.  Dick was still alive, wasn't he?  Was he really in there somewhere?  Perhaps maybe waiting for someone to save him?  She just didn't know.  What could she possibly do?

As she turned to the page that had their first kiss as a married couple, she heard a noise and looked up.  It was Dick.  What was he doing there?  "Hey, Rachel."  He said in way of greeting and Rachel nodded but would not make eye contact.  "What are you looking at?"  He walked over and behind her so he could see what she had been staring at so intently before he had made himself known.

He spotted the page over her shoulder.  It was of himself in an expensive black fitted Tuxedo with . . .  Raven.  Of course, he knew in his head it was only the alternate version of her; Rachel.  However, he only saw Raven in his heart.  She was beautiful in her equally-expensive (if not more so) white wedding gown.  The last time he had seen her in white was when she had defeated Trigon.  At that time, she was so happy, she had hugged him with enthusiasm.  And now, he was looking at a picture of their wedding kiss.  He had never kissed Raven.  He had only been on that level with Starfire, but that love had cooled quite dramatically.  He hadn't been like that with her for a while.  But Raven. . .

What was it with Raven?

"May I sit down?"  He asked Rachel.  She looked up in surprise at him and blinked a few times.  After a few moments when she had not yet answered him, he placed his hand on his hip and the corner of his lips curled upwards in a partial smirk.  "Well?"  His eyes were humorous and incredibly gentle.  Was he really looking at her that way?  Or was he envisioning that other girl?

"Okay."  She answered and he pulled out the kitchen chair next to her and sat down.  She pushed the album closer to him so they could share.  This Dick may not share her memory of that day, but she looked at his clear blue eyes and realized she still had him.  He was there.  They didn't just share the same body.  She was sure they shared the same heart, too.  "May I ask you a question?"

Dick looked at her and smirked.  "You already did," he replied.

She chuckled.  "I haven't heard you say that one for a while, Dick."  The way Rachel smiled at him made him feel a little uncomfortable.  Was it love in her smile, her gaze, her voice?  "It brings back memories, that's all."

"Memories, huh?"

"Yeah.  Memories."  She smiled again and looked at him truly at ease.  Dick wasn't sure what she was getting at, but he wanted just to watch her if nothing else.  He wondered why he felt like that all of a sudden, but was cut off by her question.  "I just wanted to ask if you were in a relationship, you know, before this whole mess started."

Dick was taken aback by the question.  However, when he thought about it, it made total sense.  Rachel was married to him in this dream world.  Of course she would be interested in whether or not her "husband" was involved with anyone else.  

"I was."  He paused and swallowed.  "I was with Starfire, or Kori, for a while," he sighed at the thought of what had happened, "but, you see, it died out.  Or, at least for me it did.  I don't think Star ever moved on so I never officially broke it off, but I'm not in love with her.  I don't think I ever was."

"What about that other girl?"  She asked with earnest eyes as she turned her body to face him completely.  "What about the other me?" She placed her hand over her heart and leaned closer to him.

Dick didn't know how to respond to that.  He could barely process the thought.  Raven was his second-in-command, his teammate, his friend.  Had he ever thought of her romantically?  He trusted her with his life, but did he trust her with his heart?  However, this Raven with that look of longing in her eyes . . . might just be worth it.  If it was only a dream, then it was okay to let himself live a little bit, right?

Without knowing exactly what he was doing, Dick inched his face closer to her.  It was as if he was enchanted by her.  Rachel closed her eyes as he gently placed his lips on hers.  It was a very innocent kiss they shared, but it was still a kiss.  As they pulled back from the kiss, Rachel looked at him with expectation.  "So, do you think we might be able to pull it off?"

Dick knew what he had just done, but he still did not have a good answer for her.  Should he get involved?  Could he afford to?  Rachel could see his indecision and decided to make her full point.

"You see," she placed her hand on his, "I made a vow before everyone I care about that I would love and be with you until death intervened."  She looked into his cerulean eyes.  "I plan on keeping my word," she said with a determined look.  Dick knew if Rachel said she would do something, she would accomplish it at any risk.  She was stubborn, but the
honesty and earnestness that went with it were truly one of her best qualities.  A quality he couldn't help but admire.  

Dick looked down at her hand on his.  After a moment of thought, he placed his other on top.  "Okay," he said.  "I believe you."  He couldn't say he loved her, for he had never considered her as a romantic option.  Even if this was a dream, he felt he couldn't lie.  Not to her.  Never to her.

They didn't know it, but Tara had watched the whole thing transpire.  She was happy that Rachel had bonded with Dick so much.  It would make everything easier to deal with.  However, she wondered if it was wise to get attached to these people too much.  She hadn't thought about it too much until then, but it would hurt to leave them and this bittersweet, beautiful dream behind.  That is, if they ever woke up.